TALKIN' WORLD WAR III BLUES

Some time ago a crazy dream came to me,
I dreamt I was walkin' into World War Three,
I went to the doctor the very next day
To see what kinda words he could say.
He said it was a bad dream.
I wouldn't worry 'bout it none, though,
They were my own dreams and they're only in my head.

I said, "Hold it, Doc, a World War passed through my brain."
He said, "Nurse, get your pad, this boy's insane,"
He grabbed my arm, I said "Ouch!"
As I landed on the psychiatric couch,
He said, "Tell me about it."

Well, the whole thing started at 3 o'clock fast,
It was all over by quarter past.
I was down in the sewer with some little lover
When I peeked out from a manhole cover
Wondering who turned the lights on.

Well, I got up and walked around
And up and down the lonesome town.
I stood a-wondering which way to go,
I lit a cigarette on a parking meter
And walked on down the road.
It was a normal day.

Well, I rung the fallout shelter bell
And I leaned my head and I gave a yell,
"Give me a string bean, I'm a hungry man."
A shotgun fired and away I ran.
I don't blame them too much though,
I know I look funny.

Down at the corner by a hot-dog stand
I seen a man, I said, "Howdy friend,
I guess there's just us two."
He screamed a bit and away he flew.
Thought I was a Communist.

Well, I spied a girl and before she could leave,
"Let's go and play Adam and Eve."
I took her by the hand and my heart it was thumpin'
When she said, "Hey man, you crazy or sumpin',
You see what happened last time they started."

Well, I seen a Cadillac window uptown
And there was nobody aroun',
I got into the driver's seat
And I drove down 42nd Street
In my Cadillac.
Good car to drive after a war.

Well, I remember seein' some ad,
So I turned on my Conelrad.
But I didn't pay my Con Ed bill,
So the radio didn't work so well.
Turned on my record playerÑ
It was Rock-A-Day, Johnny singin',
"Tell Your Ma, Tell Your Pa,
Our Loves Are Gonna Grow Ooh-wah, Ooh-wah."

I was feelin' kinda lonesome and blue,
I needed somebody to talk to.
So I called up the operator of time
Just to hear a voice of some kind.
"When you hear the beep
It will be three o'clock,"
She said that for over an hour
And I hung it up.

Well, the doctor interrupted me just about then,
Sayin, "Hey I've been havin' the same old dreams,
But mine was a little different you see.
I dreamt that the only person left after the war was me.
I didn't see you around."

Well, now time passed and now it seems
Everybody's having them dreams.
Everybody sees themselves walkin' around with no one else.
Half of the people can be part right all of the time,
Some of the people can be all right part of the time.
But all of the people canÕt be right all of the time.
I think Abraham Lincoln said that.
"I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours,"
I said that.


~ Bob Dylan ~

Sori Bos

Kelamrin Yeop terima surat dari teman Yeop. Dia ni hari-hari lewat ke pejabat. Jadi untuk memenuhi syarat supaya tak dibuang kereja, dia pun buatler satu surat. Dia mintak tolong Yeop tengok-tengok kalau kalau logik atau tak. Katanya:

Kepada Boss......

Saya mohon maaf kerana hari nie saya terlambat lagi datang ke pejabat. Saya tau, termasuk hari nie, saya dah 10 kali lewat ke pejabat.

Sorry Boss....!!!

Saya tau sepatutnya saya masuk pejabat pukul 8:30 pagi. Tapi oleh kerana lewat, saaya terpaksa sampai di pejabat pukul 9:00 atau 10:00 pagi. Tapi percayalah Boss, saya bukan sengaja. Keadaan yang buat saya begini. Saya bangun awal Boss... Pukul 6:00 saya dah siap mandi dan pakai baju. Saya turun dari rumah saya pun awal jugak. Boss pun tahu saya just duduk Ampang, dekat jer.....

Tapi Boss, bila sampai di pertengahan jalan...saya jadi pening Boss. saya percaya kalau Boss sendiri berada ditempat saya, Boss pun mesti sampai lewat jugak ke pejabat. Percaayalah Boss, saya tak bohong. Kalau Boss nak tahu kenapa saya selalu lewat ke pejabat, meh sini, biar saya tunjukkan.......

Yang Benar,

Pekerjamu yang disayangi.......

p/s : harap Boss.....maafkan lah saya....yer....

Teguran untuk Yeop

Hari ini Yeop menerima teguran daripada seorang bekas kawan sepejabat. Yeop amat terasa dengan teguran ini dan ingin Yeop kongsikan bersama dengan kome sekalian. Semoga menjadi panduan yang baik.

Pernah kah anda terfikir tentang....bagaimana orang islam boleh
menjadi murtad?

".. Pagi hari Islam.. Petangnya Kafir.."

Dalam satu hadis yang berbentuk futuristik (masa depan), Rasulullah SAW berpesan "Bersegeralah kamu melakukan amalan soleh kerana akan datang kepada umatku di suatu masa,satu fitnah yang begitu besar yang datangnya seperti satu kepingan hitam di malam gelap gelita tak nampak". Sahabat bertanya "Apakah fitnah besar itu ya Rasullullah?"

"Fitnah itu adalah kamu akan lihat umatku di hari itu, di waktu itu, pada masa itu, pagi hari Islam, petang kafir. Petang Islam, pagi kafir balik." Sahabat bertanya lagi. "Mengapa begitu ya Rasullullah?". Rasullullah SAW menjawab, "Sebab dia jual agamanya dengan nilai dunia".

Imam Ghazali pernah berkata dalam perkara ini, "Akan datang fitnah murtad ini dalam keadaan seperti semut hitam di atas batu hitam di malam gelap." Mana nampak? Kecuali kalau jiwa kita tengok satu perkara dengan cahaya keimanan.

Bagaimana gerakan murtad ini berjalan di Malaysia sehingga kita tak nampak langsung. Gerakan Hindu kita tok sah sebutlah. Belum habis cakap, dah ada yang tunggu dengan parang kat luar. Gerakan Yahudi lagilah teruknya. Henry Ford (orang kaya yang buat kereta Ford tu) pernah menulis berkaitan Yahudi tahun 40an atau 30an dulu dalam bukunya "International Jew".

Unsur Yahudi begitu tebal dalam masyarakat kita tapi kita tak nampak. Paling nyata, rokok yang orang kita hisap tu. Setiap satu batang itu dan saham kepada puak Yahudi. Tak de kilang rokok yang bukan Yahudi punya. Sapa yang hendak berenti merokok, ambil ni sebagai iktibar.

Yahudi punya kerja. baru letak bola sebijik, 70 ribu Melayu tak sembahyang kat stadium Shah Alam. Belum kira yang kat rumah lagi. Bab Kristian, lebih terancang, lebih terperinci lagi. Semenjak kalah dalam perang salib terakhir, iaitu dalam pemerintahan King entah apa nama ke-6 yang terakhir. Sebelum dia mati, dia telah berwasiat dan wasiatnya ada ditulis dengan emas di London. Dia berkata: "Kepada semua pemimpim-pemimpin Kristian, kita hari ini telah melakukan kesilapan besar, kita berperang dengan tentera Islam dengan pedang, bukan berperang dengan akidah yang ada pada mereka. Sebab tu Islam menang walaupun 30 ribu tentera mereka dengan 300 ribu tentera kita, mereka tetap menang sebab mereka (orang Islam) berperang kerana nak mati. Kita perang untuk hidup. Oleh itu, hendaklah kita tukar strategi. Melancarkan peperangan ideologi, fahaman dan budaya keatas orang Islam." Wasiatnya berjaya dilaksanakan setelah King tu mati. 1942. kerajaan Islam Andalusia yang paling agung pada masa itu tumbang di tangan Kristian.

1511 kerajaan Islam Melaka tumbang, tak lama lepas tu, tumbang kerajaan Islam Pattani. Tak lama selepas tu, tumbang kerajaan Islam Kedah. Tak lama lepas tu, tumbang kerajaan Islam Mindanao. Lepas tu kerajaan Islam Acheh...semuanya satu demi satu. Macamana benda ni boleh terjadi?

Sebab gerakan Kristian berdasarkan kepada 3G. GOSPEL, GOAL and GLORY.

Pertama kitab dia, kedua kekayaan kita, ketiga menang terhadap Islam. Kalau kita tengok sejarah, Alfonso De Albuqueque bukan datang ke Tanah Melayu bawa tukang masak sebab nak rempah kari kita. Dia bukan makan kari, dia datang bawa mubaligh Kristian Francis Xavier (kalau saya tak silap eja), sebab nak sebarkan ajaran Kristian. Bagaimana cara dia sebarkan Kristian nih? Orang kita panggil, gerakan halus.Dia panggil semua mubaligh Kristian yang nak datang ke Asia ni. Dia guna kaedah "garam dan ragi". Garam sebagai perasa, ragi untuk penapaian. Contohnya ubi kayu. Waktu siang asalnya ubi kayu kita letak ragi, esoknya masih lagi bentuk ubi kayu tapi sebenarnya tapai. Maksudnya, dia kekalkan orang Melayu dengan identiti Islam.

Hakikatnya kehidupan kita bukan cara Islam lagi.

Cara inilah yang Rasulullah SAW kata macam kepingan hitam di malam gelita. Inilah yang Imam Ghazali kata macam semut hitam atas batu hitam di malam gelita tu.

Pertama, melalui sistem pendidikan.

Di Malaysia, macam-macam sekolah dengan nama mubaligh Kristian. Convent itu, Saint ini. Menurut satu petikan seorang mubaligh Kristian pada masa itu yang ditulis semula oleh George Peters dalam sebuah buku tahun 40an.

Kepada mubaligh-mubaligh Kristian yang nak datang ke negara kita, berkaitan pendekatan garam dan ragi". Pendekatan seperti ini tidak memerlukan seorang Muslim Melayu berkenaan meninggalkan sistem kemasyarakatan yang dituntut oleh agamanya.

Sebaliknya orang tersebut hendaklah digalakkan terus tinggal dalam masyarakatnya. justeru itu, ragi tetap ujud dalam keutuhannya. Dia akan menjadi bagaikan sebuah lampu (Kristian) yang diletakkan dalam gelap.

Penyebaran agama Kristian nanti akan terserlah dalam sifat kerohanian, bukannya organisasi. Di rasa kesegarannya, bukan bersikap kalam. Dinamik dan etikal, bukan bersifat formalistik. Pendekatan begini telah memperlihatkan kebaikannya. Lantaran ia tidak menganjurkan ahli Melayu tadi menjadi ahli baru Kristian yang formal, menyendiri terpisah dari masyarakatnya. Sebaliknya ia memberi laluan agar dapat dimasukkan semangat dan ajaran Jesus bagaikan sebutir ragi yang bertindak dengan proses penapaiannya ke atas seluruh masyarakat Melayu seluruhnya.

Ajaran Kristian akan bertindak melahirkan revolusi, justeru itu nanti, dapatlah dikatakan bahawa kita nanti akan memperolehi satu Kristian muslim Melayu tempatan yang mencerminkan Kristian muslim Melayu sejati.." Sebenarnya dia ingin. Akan datang suatu masa nanti, orang Melayu sendiri tanpa dipaksa-paksa akan buat revolusi untuk menjadi Kristian. Cara kebajikan pulak..., Hari ni sapa tak kenal kelab rotary yang cuci buah pinggang, kelab lion, bulan sabit merah, Saint John's Ambulans, sapa tak kenal palang merah. Mereka masuk dengan cara menghidupkan sekularisme. Sekularisma adalah satu cara mengasingkan agama daripada kehidupan. Itulah kita hari ni mengasingkan Islam daripada kehidupan dunia. Cara lain adalah dengan menghidupkan maksiat. Kita kena ambil tindakan samada dengan tangan, dengan mulut, atau paling lemah sekali, dengan hati.

Bangun malam buat sembahyang hajat agar kita semua diselamatkan dari fitnah besar ini. Paling kurang pun, fowardkan msg ni kepada saudara kita yang lain yang tak tahu menahu tu. Kita kena peka. Ini semua tanggung jawab kita semua. Akhir sekali, msg ini tiada kena mengena dengan ceramah nak berkempen politik atau apa saja. Sekadar meniupkan semangat perjuangan dalam diri kita yang mengaku Islam ini. Ni lah masanya kita bangkit pertahankan agama Islam sebelum terlambat...kawan-kawan yang dikasihi, tolong forwardkan msg ini untuk pengetahuan dan tindakan kita semua sebagai orang Islam agar perkara ini boleh dijadikan iktibar dan benteng untuk kita mempertahankan akidah kita yag telah di Islamkan atas tiket keturunan dimana dengan sebab ini kita telahpun mendapat banyak rahmat dan belas ihsan dari Allah tanpa perlu melalui hidup sebagai seorang yang terpesong dari ajaran-Nya dan sentiasa mencari-cari jalan yang betul. Di harap rahmat Allah dan doa-doa para waliullah dapat melindungi kita sehingga kita kembali ke sisi-Nya.

Sementara itu, berhati- hatilah dalam apa jua yang kita lakukan dan sentiasa beringat kepada Allah.

Memang ini ape yg kite nampak mase kini... tp kebanyakan kite buat tak kisah.. tak sedar, penting diri sendiri... fikir-fikirkanlah

Yeop Kaye Lagi

Setelah lebih seminggu tak melayari internet, kerana lupa bayar bil streamyx, hari ini Yeop amat gembira. Syaye dah kaye. Kaye raye. Tak disyangke-syangke Yeop ada keluarge dari Afrika. Macam mana pulak, ye?

Inilah syurat yang menggembirekan Yeop. Yeop lebih gembire dari calon Batu Talam yang menerime kejuteng kerane memenagi pilihanraye dengeng majoriti yang begitu bebesor bebenor!! Hebat. Hebat.

From: Henry Adams Vaye.
Liberia in West Africa.
Date: January 26, 2007
Tel: +233246917459
e-mail: henryvayeadams@myway.com


Dear Yeop,

From Henry Adams Vaye.
Liberia in West Africa.
+233246917459
henryvayeadams@myway.com

Dear Yeop,

This letter was bound out of my desire to establish a business relationship with you, considering the fact that I sourced your profile from a human resource profile database in your country. My name is Mr. Henry Adams Vaye the son of the Deputy Minister of Public Works, Mr. Isaac Nuhan Vaye of Liberia in West Africa.

My father was falsely accused of plotting to remove the then President of Liberia (Charles Taylor) from office. Without trial, Charles Taylor killed him. You can verify this from your country. You can also check in some of the international newspapers posted in this web site.

Before my father was killed, he moved out the sum of US$4.5m (Four Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) through a diplomatic means, and deposited it with a Security Company overseas. All that is needed is for you is to act as my late fathers oversea partner to claim the consignment from the security company. The cash was carefully packaged in a trunk box and deposited as Artifacts with the Security Company. The security company based on my instructions will release the fund to you on the fact that you will be presented as our oversea partner who will be fronting for us in area of business you deem profitable.

If you are willing to assist me this matter, I shall give you 20% of the total sum for your assistance, 75% for me and my family to invest in your country and a further 5% will be mapped out for any expenses that we may incurred in the process of this transaction. I need your full support and co-operation for the success of this transaction. I plead with you to treat this issue confidential and urgent because it is delicate and it demands a great degree of secrecy.

If my proposal interests you, please forward your reply to henryvayeadams@myway.com including your telephone number and fax number to my e-mail address so that I can call you for more details about the transaction.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Henry Adams Vaye.

Tapi tahun lalu pun Yeop terima juga e-mel dari mak mamat ni. Dia pun merayu hal yang sama. Kenapalah Kofi Anan ke Bush ke tak tolong dia. Tak faham Yeop dalam hal ini.

FROM: MRS. SUZANA NUHAN VAYE.
Liberia.

ATTN: Mister Yeop Harley

Kindly accepts my apology for sending my mail to you. I am a true God fearing person, and I want you to trust me and help me out in this my condition. I believe you are a highly respected personality, considering the fact that I sourced your profile from a human resource profile database on your country in the Internet.

Though, I do not know to what extent you are familiar with events and fragile political situation in Liberia but it has formed consistent headlines in the CNN, BBC news bulletins.

My Name is MRS. SUZANA NUHAN VAYE from Liberia, a Country in West Africa. My late Husband is Isaac Nuhan Vaye, Deputy Minister of Public Works in Liberia. My Husband was falsely accused of plotting to remove the then PRESIDENT OF LIBERIA CHARLES TAYLOR) from office. My Name is MRS. SUZANA NUHAN VAYE from Liberia, a Country in West Africa. My late Husband is Isaac Nuhan Vaye, Deputy Minister of Public Works in Liberia. My Husband was falsely accused of plotting to remove the then PRESIDENT OF LIBERIA CHARLES TAYLOR) from office. Without trial, Charles Taylor killed him. You can verify this from some of the international newspapers posted in the web sites here and there.

Before my husband was killed, he made me to understood and as a revelation that he deposited large amount of money with an International Financial Consultant Firm, registered in the Island of Anjuoan, India Ocean Territory London for investment, and some diamonds with some security firms in Europe and Caribbean. He told me that he made me the beneficiary/next of kin to all these deposits in the case of uncertainty, but it was unfortunate that he was killed before time. Now my family is being marginalized and brutally treated and was kept in isolation of participant in any event in my country. The worse of it all was that we have been restricted from traveling abroad and the government seized all our traveling documents, and we’ve been placed under security surveillance to monitor all our activities.

I have secretly written to the Finance firm in London and to the diamonds deposited companies in Europe and Caribbean about my intention as the next of kin to transfer ownership of the funds and the diamonds to my trusted representative since I am incapacitated to continue running the affairs from where my husband stopped. And most importantly is to quicken the process of this transfer of ownership to your name so as to prevent my government from detecting such deposits belonging to my late husband, otherwise it would be confiscated. The companies are at standby waiting for my instructions and the details of my appointed representative to enable them to execute the transaction and relinquish all the properties to my chosen and trusted representative.

I am therefore soliciting for your loyalty, trustworthiness and cooperation to help me to act and stand as my trusted representative to receive the funds and the diamonds on my behalf from the companies pending when I would find a way to escape from my country to be with you. I am granting you an open negotiation to decide or say what I can offer you as reward for your assistance in this regard. I want in your continual efforts, to hold the funds and the diamonds in your absolute control and to re-invest the funds in any viable business that could generate profits and into real estate pending my arrival to your country. I would be glad to settle down in your country if you can help me to arrange for this.

If you are interested to help me, please respond swiftly via my telephone or by return mail and furnish me with your detailed info so I would forward to the companies to process the change of beneficiary to your name. And I will provide you with the contact info of the companies to enable you to write them officially and request for the transfer of the properties to your destination. I will issue you my power of attorney in this regard.

You should observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us.Please reply to my email address:suzananuhan_at_katamail.com

Please your urgent response is needed.

Best Regards. Love.

MRS.SUZANA NUHAN VAYE (WIDOW)

Cadangan Yeop besok nak ke hospital Ipoh untuk berjumpa Dr. Nurul kerana perlukan suntikan bird-flu, anti HIV, meningitis, yellow fever, dan pentingnya Yeop ingin pinjam duit dia sikit untuk buat paspot. OK ye Doc.? Jangan bimbang Doc., nanti Yeop sandarkan motor Harley Yeop sebagai jaminan. Tapi kunci Yeop pegang kerana takut you try-try naik dan tak boleh berhenti pulak. Naas. Dan Doc., minta rambutan sikit untuk buat buah tangan kepada Mrs. Suzana Vaye.

Cadangan Yeop bila jumpa mak mamat tu, Mrs. Suzana, Yeop akan pinangkan dia untuk Tok Batin Jerebu anak Jerebak. Tok Batin ni dah ada 6 isteri, jadi tambah sorang lagi tak jadi hal. Lagi pun dia akan kaye raye syerta merte.

Kalau deme nak bace lagi tentang berita-berita seperti di atas pi ke sini. Seghonok bace kalu takde kereje. Lagi pun pilihan raye dah selesei

Teladan

Yeop sungguh kagum dengan manusia ini. Warren Buffet. Bermoral seperti orang Islam, dan bermurah hati. Tak lupa daratan meskipun sudah tergolong antara orang yang terkaya di dunia. Berikut adalah intisari temuramah CNBC dengan beliau.

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated US$31 billion to charity. Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:

1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha , that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
7. He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: Do not lose any of your shareholder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
8. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
9. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
10. Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
11. His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.
    
    

Amazing individual indeed......

Korban

Dai Ramadhan ke Zulhijjah, Yeop bersepi. Bukan merajuk, bukan mogok .. hanya kerana Yeop kurang merokok, maka kurang inspirasi.

Hari ini Yeop, mengupgradekan blog. Mengupdatekan maklumat, dan di sini Yeop ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Korban atau Aidiladha kepada kome sakalian.

Jangan lupa berkorban.

Dan Yeop akan korbankan tabiat merokok. Takut pulak, kalau-kalau terpaksa ke Hospital Ipoh, bertemu Dr. NBB, dia herdik Yeop dan marah-marah kerana tak mau ambil sikap TAK NAK.

Ramadhan Oh Ramadhan

Di hari-hari mutakhir Ramadhan ini, Yeop dengan rendah diri, menyusun jari,memohon ampun dan maaf kepada pengunjung kalian ke bangsal Yeop yang amat kekurangan ini. Sekiranya ada tersilap, terkasar, terlanjur dan terlepas cakap dan kata, maaflah Yeop. Maklumlah Yeop ni bergaul dan bercampur lebih dengan orang-orang hulu.

Pagi tadi, sewaktu Yeop di kuliah subuh, pensyarah berpesan:

1. Raya disambut dengan penuh kegembiraan bukannya kerana pemergian Ramadhan. Kegembiraan kerana kita sekali lagi diberi peluang untuk menyempurnakan Ramadhan kali ini. Tanda kesyukuran kerana dapat menjalani ibadah serta diberi peluang untuk memohon keampunan dari Illahi.
2. Banyak menangis bukannya kerana tak ada pakaian baru atau kurang mendapat habuan raya. Tetapi kerana kesedihan takut-takut tak ada lagi peluang untuk ber Ramadhan pada tahun hadapan. Sebulan bermesra dengan Ramadhan ini, dan begitu cepat ia pergi.
3. Jangan mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya. Itu hanya kata-kata kosong. Ikut sunnah Rasululullah. Ucapkan YA RABBANA TAQABBALNA WA MINKUM ketika bersalaman. Maknanya "Ya Rab terimalah ibadah saya dan juga ibadahnya".

'eid mubarak

kullu 'aamin wa antum bikhair.

p.s.: Jangan berempit. Kubur tu sempit. Sakit kena himpit.